things I don't understand
After reading the most recent issue of The Mennonite, the church periodical I receive twice per month, I have discovered that I really don't understand two issues.
Firstly, I don't understand why young adults are leaving the church. Everyone seems to agree that we're losing people after they graduate from high school, but nobody seems to know why. Sometimes people ask me what I think about this issue. I don't really know what to say, because I didn't leave. I don't know why young adults leave the church. The only thing I can think of is that maybe they don't understand very much about church and/or the Christian faith, and expect it to be something that it isn't, and somehow find it irrelevant. But I haven't got the slightest idea why, or what could be done differently, because it all worked out just fine for me.
Secondly, I don't understand what the barriers are to women in ministry. I don't understand this because I have never experienced any such barriers. Ever since I was a young teenager, I have been encouraged by many, many people to take leadership roles in the church. Most recently I have been pestered by many, many members of my current church to apply for the newly-open youth pastor position. I have little doubt that I would be the number one candidate if I had decided to apply (I didn't). I am constantly being encouraged and invited to lead worship, preach sermons, serve on committees, and other such things. I have no doubt that I would be encouraged and welcomed in pretty much any ministry venture I could think to participate in.
So when I read articles about these two issues, I really don't know what to think, say or do, because I do not have the personal experience necessary to truly understand what's going on. I feel myself to be lacking in insight and understanding in these matters. I would very much welcome comments on this.
Finally, and almost unrelatedly, I do not understand this garage sale sign I read today: "Moving Sale! Everything for sale and more!" How does one sell more than everything?
11 comments:
Clearly you can't sell more than everything, so logically it follows that the "and more" is decribing "sale", not "everything". This means is that *everything* is for *more than just sale*; it might also be for rent.
Maybe it meant they were selling drugs on the side.
Consider yourself lucky. Or doomed. Perhaps the understanding for these is yet to come in your life.
I left the church for a few reasons. The main one, and the freakier one, is that I am psychotic. That's right, cringe. Hunch away from your monitor. You are reading a psycho's words. It is amazing the connotations that that word carries...add in co-morbid with bipolar and it's even better. How do I know if the voices in my head are the voice of God voice of Angels, or just voices? Medication does not take them all away. The biggest coping strategy us mentally interesting are given is to run a checklist of; do others hear this?, do others see this?, and so on. How is answer to prayer NOT a misenterpreted causal correlation to one's own specific beliefs/faiths? And if not, then how many 'Chrsitians' would still hear the voice of God after the communion wine was punched with some rhisperidone?
I appreciate your understanding in 'labels' for people. Not many have that quality. Thank-you.
It is also good not to live in fear. You seem to be reaching for a balance here. Hopefully someday you will find it.
It is also good that you do not pretend to understand. Empathy and understanding are two very different concepts.
On another note, please edit your previous comment and change my son's name to 'E.' While I leave my full name, I want my children to only be referred to by their first initial, just for their safety.
Going back to religion, I think many would find it interesting that Christianity, and other religions, are considered coping mechanisms. When I was committed (no, no padded cell, just a plain old ward room) ;) I had a so-called professional tell me that if I was a better Christian, I wouldn't be here. If I 'used' Jesus better, I would do better. It was all my fault, and I just had to pick up my bootstraps and do better. So, the answer is to go to Church in her mind. (Never mind that MRIs and blood tests showed a concrete physiological reason for my diagnoses. Would she say the same thing to someone with cancer?) Perhaps this explains why some of us mentally interesting do things in the name of God sometimes that are dissimiliar to the practices of that God's religion.
***I couldn't figure out how to edit my previous comment, so I deleted it and am re-posting the edited version here.***
Hi Helen,
We were in the same Lenten study group at St. Margarets, right? Your profile picture seemed familiar. How's your son doing?
Lucky or doomed, those are both good words to describe how I feel about my life sometimes. I often feel like my life has gone a little too perfectly thus far, and that God must have something terrible planned for my future to balance it all out in the end. But I've also decided that being in a constant state of fear about that is probably useless, I've always been the sort of person who crosses bridges when she gets to them. Besides, that way of thinking isn't good theology, it's just plain old karma.
Do others hear God? Do others see God? I think the answer is yes. Then again, others also see and hear demons, angels, prophets, aliens, and leprechauns, so maybe that's not a valid argument. I dunno.
I don't find the idea of meeting a psychotic person to be cringeworthy. People have all kinds of weird stuff they have to live with. I think the thing people are afraid of is the unknown. If I don't know what's going on with someone or why, I'll probably be confused or wary of them. I used to think this guy in my math class was somewhat odd until he explained that he had Asperger's syndrome, and that simple information ended up making him look quite normal in my eyes.
When people explain what they're living with, be it cerebral palsy, severe allergies, parapelegia/quadriplegia, schizophrenia, deafness, Tourette syndrome, or depression (all real examples of people in my life), it explains that twinge of "oddness" away and turns her/him into a normal person who just has a different set of shit to deal with in life. Maybe that's not true for everyone, but a good explanation can go a long way.
Thus endeth the longest comment ever. Sorry for rambling!
You used the plural for children...do you have a second child now? Girl or boy? Sorry for mentioning your son's name, and thanks for letting me know your concerns.
The "health and wealth" gospel is a load of shit. A blind friend of mine has some particularly "healthy and wealthy" relatives (one of whom is even a pastor at the notorious Springs church in Winnipeg) who have had the audacity to imply that she doesn't believe in Jesus because then she wouldn't be blind.
The Bible shows over and over (and over and over) again that God has a special concern and love for those who are oppressed, suffering, marginalized or poor. It has nothing to do with what they believe. That's why Christian organizations like MCC (the one I'm most familiar with) go out and do development and relief work in the places where it's needed most, not the places that have the shiniest Christians.
Jesus did say to some of those he healed, "Your faith has made you well," but he didn't say it to everyone he healed, nor did he heal every ailing person on the planet. I don’t see this as a valid basis for a “health and wealth” gospel, especially not in light of God’s preferential option for the poor (as the theologians call it). I'm not sure why God doesn't just make everything right this very instant (it's quite a conundrum, really), but I do know that he intends to complete the work of healing and reconciliation that he began in Jesus Christ.
As for the "religion is the opiate of the masses" idea, I believe medical research shows that religion is a very effective coping mechanism indeed. Practising religious people live longer. I sure don't mind reaping this side-effect of my faith—and I do believe it to be a side-effect such as the medical community has measured, and not the purpose or direct spiritual result of having faith.
I’m sorry you met a fool of a Christian. There are rotten apples in every lot. Just ask the Muslims how they feel about the reputation they have today. Humanity in general is pretty messed up, and it seems that no one group of people is immune to foolishness and pride, especially not the Christians. It’s part of being human. I guess I find hope in the life and teachings and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
I never understand what churches mean by "losing" young adults. I left my church at age 18, but I didn't leave THE church. I went away to school, floated about for a bit and ended up in a different church.
I feel like the findings of young people leaving the church don't take into account the finding of a new church, or even the return to church several years later (I know of so many stories of people returning to the church when they have kids).
That being said, I don't understand it either. I'm tired of trying to convince people just to come to church.
The second is a boy, 'J.' Go to www.geekchiccanada.blogspot.com for pictures.
Re: religion, I'm glad you found what works for you. May sound sarcastic, but it's actually not supposed to be.
This conversations parallels a conversation I have with many around medicine. Easter vs. Western? Holistic vs. Clinical? And so on. Does God exist or not? Your religion or mine?
On the medicine debate, I take the approach of we need to educate how to choose a good practitioner- midwife or OB, isn't the criteria the same? A good way to weed out the rotten apples, as you said, on both sides of the fence.
You said you based your choice on, 'finding hope in the life and teachings and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.' So, then, is the criteria for choosing a faith or religion based on how much hope is perceived to be derived from it?
I'm not so much tired of trying to convince people to come to church (admittedly I do very little of that), I think I'm tired of church-raised young adults being apathetic or whiny or lazy about how church isn't cool enough. Either they should have real issues with church and call the church to account about them, or they should just leave and not pretend that they still care by showing up at Christmas and Easter.
Yes, I think it's the wishy-washy apathy of my peers that really ticks me off. Suck it up and decide if church matters to you or not, people! Maybe that's harsh, I dunno, but it's what I'm feeling.
"Is the criteria for choosing a faith or religion based on how much hope is perceived to be derived from it?"
No, I would disagree. I can see how my comment might have sounded like that, though! I guess I just used a generalized "wrap=it=ip" statement to end my comment.
I honestly believe that Jesus Christ was God become flesh, and that he lived, died and rose again, for real, and that this makes all the difference in the world. Christianity is the Truth.
I admit that I'm cringing a little bit because this is making me sound like a Bible-thumping fundamentalist, an image with which I am rather uncomfortable. I resist being put in a box of "oh, you're one of THOSE Christians." I've always had difficulty explaining the Christian faith in a nutshell, I'm too much of a rambler to be satisfied by that.
There are a lot of things in all sorts of branches of Christianity that I take issue with, and it would take a very long time to discuss them all. Ultimately, I believe that at the core of what we consider to be the Christian faith, there is a core that is really, really true. It all centres on Jesus Christ's life, death, and resurrection. That part is true wether we believe it or not.
I'm beginning to ramble again, so I'm going to cut myself off here before it gets out of hand. Often when I get into dicussions like this, I wish that I could just be life-long friends with everyone so that over the course of a lifetime maybe we'd come to understand each other and what we believe on a whole, and also learn to understand something of God while we're at it. I always feel that I have inadequately explained what I'm trying to say, so a lifetime would give me a better chance of being understood. Meanwhile, I guess I'll keep trying to squeeze it all into blog bytes. Wish me luck.
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